Stupid Dragon

We set off from that volcano island with a piece of the rod thing and headed north to find that other dragon. This is all so stupid. Why do we have to go find them when they can all fly and teleport? No, I’m stuck on this damn ghost ship freezing my ass off.

Masturbating is tough when you have those creepy blue guys showing up out of nowhere saying “Can I help you, Sir?”

We landed on the north coast and made the very cold climb up a mountain only to find that the dragon we came to see was already dead. Then we killed its kid. I felt a little bad, but it would not stop screaming. More depressing is the fact that those jerk orcs took all the treasure and left us a gnome and a cow. The gnome’s name was Warill, or Worwill, or Wallril or something like that. Not even he seemed sure of it. The cow was kind of cool. I thought about riding it, and then decided that was one of my worst ideas. It did end up killing this other crazy gnome thing that woke me up in the middle of this awesome dream. You know the one. It was the one where I kill those hookers.

We finally made it back to the creepy ship just in time to get beat up by that jerk-fiend and his orc goons. Even worse, they beat us up and took the rod piece the old dragon-man gave us. Now they have all the parts. Could it get worse? Yeah, it could. The old dragon-guy flies in and is all like “You guys suck and are disappointing.” Then he calls the other old guy and they just shake their heads at us and were like “Really?” Apparently, the old mans’ club is dicks only. Then he wanted us to all hold hands and we ended up in a swamp that smelled like crap and swamp. So really, just like wet dead crap.

I have a bad feeling about this.


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